Not so in Italy! Italians, as we all well know, are a fashionable bunch. Italians will take the time to comb or pull back their hair, apply some make-up or moisturizer, and choose a casual but well-thought-out outfit for such a menial task. Even running to the corner store is an opportunity to show what you’re workin’ with (or break in your new Armani shoes)!

Let’s turn to the world of celebrities to help me underline my point.

Here’s Britney Spears looking sloppy and disheveled:

I know, I know … LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

And here is Italian celebrity Ilary Blasi lookin’ good ’round the neighborhood:

Hot damn!

Shall we play “spot the difference”?

You know how sometimes everything just comes together to make some experience really special? Well, that’s what happened here! It was just me and my boyfriend (he’s the one with the green thumb), a beautifully sunny day, lots of friendly people who explained how to best care for the plants, and lots of colorful flowers and lush plants filling the cute piazza in front of the church. I can’t put my (decidedly not green) thumb on what exactly it was, but I really enjoyed myself at Floralia.

“Great, thanks for telling me about this now that it’s over” say my Italian-based readers. Have no fear! Floralia takes place twice per year in the spring and the autumn. It’ll be back again September 29th and 30th, 2012 and I’ll sure be there!

“Great, thanks for telling me about a market that I can’t go to and even if I could how the heck would I get the plants back home” say my non Italian-based readers. Um .. well … can’t you just be happy for those of us living in Italy?!?!! Ok, fine, gimme your address and I’ll look into the legal complications of shipping you plants!

Here are some colorful photos I took of the Floralia market. Enjoy!

• Tu is what you say when you are talking to your friends, younger people, and other people who you know well and have a close relationship with
• Lei is what you use when you are speaking to strangers, your elders, or people whom you want to show a certain level of respect to

Wanna know something cool? Italians have this great way of using the formal “you”, even when in the heat of a verbal dispute.

Using Lei when arguing with somebody you don’t know or who you want to show respect for even as your chewin’ them out is something that I just find so hilarious! It’s a linguistically artful way of telling somebody off while still remaining polite despite the fact that what you’re yelling may well be laced with swear words and insults.

To give you an idea of how funny this concept is (at least to a native English speaker living in Italy), here are some masterful examples of the vocalizations you might hear when people “politely argue” in Italian. Please note: to get the most out of these, you really should  envision them being said in a posh British accent.

• Good sir, I heartily insist that you keep your !@%#ing dog’s mouth shut!
• I should find it swell if you would stop double parking your sh!& box of a moped in front of my mother!@%#ing car!
• Would you be so kind as to go take a good sh!& for yourself, you !@%#ing idiot!
• Hello there, outspoken b!+ch! Please refrain from busting my !@%#ing balls!
• It is with the utmost respect that I entreat you to go !@%# thyself … with vim and vigor, mind you!

So, the translations of what was being said in Italian are not exactly spot on, but since English doesn’t have the formal “you” there was no other way to really convey the idea. Plus, it gives me a valid excuse to use lots of bad words!

Now I won’t be the one to write down any Italian swear words here in this article, but if you guys want to leave a comment with any Italian parolacce that you may know, I certainly won’t be able to !@%#ing stop you!

Tiramisu

You can find it in just about any Italian restaurant in Italy or America and I’d be wicked surprised if you, dear blog reader, have never tried it at least once in your life.

It’s basically lady finger cookies soaked in espresso coffee and then layered with sweetened mascarpone cheese and topped with cocoa powder. Easy!

The interesting thing about Tiramisu is the meaning, in Italian, of its name. It translates into “Pick Me Up“. Not in the sense of “give me a ride home” or “I’ve fallen”, but in the “put some pep in my step” way. Given that this dessert is loaded with espresso, it gives you a little coffee buzz, which is exactly what you might need to help you get up from the table after a nice long Italian meal!

It’s something that will make an American such as myself go absolutely out of his freakin’ mind! The lack of respect for somebody patiently waiting his or her turn in line is so unabashedly rude that it’s made me honestly consider just packing my stuff up and getting the heck out of this country! Arghhh! (“Well go then, Mr. Complainy Pants”, say my offended Italian readers.)

Waiting in line in Italy makes me so ANGRY! If I could just find an oversized slingshot!!!

I swear on everything holy, if I were an Angry Bird and the Italians were green “non-line-respecting” pigs, I would throw myself on a giant slingshot and wreak havoc! My anger would certainly propel me towards getting all three stars and racking up a new high score!

Sometimes I really wonder if Italians see me waiting in line and think to themselves “What’s this idiot doing just standing there in front of the cash register blocking me? I know, I’ll go right around him and take care of my business. Good thing I have common sense!” This line cutting is by no means restricted to a certain town, type of customer, or store either. Whether in Palermo or Verona, a young girl or an old man, the dry cleaner’s or the bakery, waiting in line remains an unknown concept in Italy.

Let me give you two unnerving examples from my own life:

1. I’m at the supermarket in Milan, waiting patiently in line at register 6. I’ve been in line for about 15 minutes when register 5 suddenly opens up. The woman behind me (who got into my line about 17 seconds ago) rushes over to be the first in line at 5. Not only did she not tap me on the shoulder and say “excuse me sir, register 5 is open” (as somebody in the USA most likely would have), but when I try putting on an apologetic face and saying to her “sorry ma’am but I was before you”, she responds by saying that I was before her in line for register 6 and if I’m too slow to move to 5 before her, then I deserve to wait in line all day.
2. I’m in line at a busy (and understaffed) pizza-by-the-slice place in Bologna. I was innocently looking at the pizzas available, trying to decide which one to get when the kid behind the counter asked me if I was all set. I assumed that if he were talking to me that it must be my turn, so I ordered. Apparently, there was another guy in the pizzeria that was there before I was, who I honestly did not see in all the unorganized chaos. He told me he didn’t know what country I came from, but that here in Italy they have this thing called “waiting one’s turn in line”. The gall of an Italian daring to talk to me, an American, about the sanctity of waiting in line prompted me to respond “Oh yeah, pal? You want to see real line-waiting etiquette? Come to America, we’ll blow your effing mind!” I then left without having eaten any pizza at all!

Whew! Okay, I feel better after having gotten that off my chest! Sometime I just need to get on my soapbox and rant a bit. As I’ve stated before, I do like to share observations but I don’t want to be rude towards my host culture so I’d like to end by saying something nice.

I love how at this time of year you can see colorful confetti all over the place! It’s so fun and is definitely one of my favorite little things that I enjoy about this country!

Buon Carnevale a tutti! 

Confetti on the streets of Italy

Gay snowstorm collage

I hate to be the one to shatter anyone’s image of Italy, but we do have winter here and it does get cold.

Me all wintered up with a nice pea coat from my parents, a soft scarf from my boyfriend, and cute mittens from my brother. Lucky me! (The scally cap I bought for myself from H&M)

My family and friends back in the USA were surprised when I would call from Italy in December or January and talk about how cold it was or explain that we got a light dusting of snow. The fact that I needed a jacket, hat, scarf, and gloves to go out was something that really bowled them over and, I think, ruined their sun-filled ideas of Italy.

Italy does have pretty good weather most of the time, but we definitely do have 4 seasons. Winters in Italy are less harsh and shorter than in many other parts of the world, but it does get cold here, particularly in the central and northern parts of the country. Coming from Boston, I can tell you that winters in Italy are nothing at all like winters in the north-east part of the USA. I mean, it snowed on Halloween in Boston this year. Just imagine all those poor little boys and girls dressed up as Spider-Man or Cinderella who had to don winter coats over their costumes to go out trick-or-treating. However, Italy still feels the chill of old man winter.

This winter, in particular, has been quite cold recently and has seen lots of snow hit the country. Well, “lots” for Italian standards. Here in Milan we had a good few days of snow and places like Bologna and Rome really got pummeled by powder!

The funny thing is, since winters here are not normally that bad, when it does snow a lot  Italians always seem to be caught off guard and unprepared. The Italian news reports on the storm referring to it as a “Snow Tragedy: schools and roads closed – thousands stranded in their homes” when it Boston it would just be called “We Got Some Snow – scrape off your car and get your butt to work“.

My parents now live in San Diego, and it’s the same sort of thing that happens there when it drizzles. People in southern California just aren’t used to rain (lucky them) so when it does rain a little bit, people go crazy and freak out – boarded up in their homes and driving haphazardly off the road. My Boston-born parents can’t help but snicker at this. They survived years and years or “nor’easters” and certainly aren’t going to let a little rain slow them down!

Here to prove my point, and convince the more hardened of you “Italy is always sunny and warm” believers, are some pictures of the recent snowstorm that buried Rome.

Italy is known the world over as a country with great food to eat and this video teaches you the hand gesture to say that you appreciate the local cuisine!

I filmed this video in my bed because the sun sets early here these days (being winter and all) and my apartment is really not the best in terms of lighting. I did a few test runs and my bed seemed to give the best results.

I guess we’re getting more and more intimate here on the blog!

This curious little thing is called Enjoy Box. It’s a fun and colorful vending machine quietly peddling its wares. What wares doth it peddle, you ask me (in a weird olde-timey accent).

Well, our trusty Enjoy Box sells three things:

1. Condoms
2. Lighters
3. Rolling Papers

What, you don’t believe me about these contraptions? Well then, click on the smiley emoticon here to see the website that sells these joyous fun-time devices.

I thought it’d be fun to kick off 2012 with the first in a series of posts based on Italians’ ideas on fortuna and sfortuna (good luck and bad luck). I always like to start on a positive note, so today let’s talk about good luck.

Red Coral Corno

The most popular Italian good luck charm is by far the corno (the horn).

The origin of the corno is said to stem from the Old European moon goddess, before the rise of Christianity, and it’s supposed to protect you from the dreaded evil eye.

The corno is traditionally made from reddish/pinkish coral that predominately grows in the Mediterranean sea surrounding Italy, and is worn around the neck as a charm. Although today you can see it in lots of forms including silver, gold, and even plastic key chain versions which you can easily find in any tacky souvenir shop in Italy.

Plastic Key Chain Corno

These good luck charms are so popular that you can see them in America too. If you’re Italo-American then you probably already know what I’m talking about. If you’re not, then go ask one of your friends with an Italian last name if they know about the corno. I’ll bet they do!

Now I’m not superstitious, but I do have a corno that I often wear. I’ve been living here a while now, and certain things have rubbed off on me!

Paired with my hairy chest, I’d say that it’s pretty darn Italian of me!

My Corno

Do you guys have any preferred good luck charms? Leave me a comment and share yours!

Here’s to a 2012 filled with good luck for all my readers!